Decisions
by Riddle
Summary: What happens on a cold, dark night of the full moon? Is Remus going to go along with his werewolf instincts and kill an enemy?


A/N: Thanks Ash Night for the wonderful review (on The Maze of Life)! That was what really drove me to write this. Thanks! ^^

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It feels as sometimes I have two souls. It is very confusing sometimes...it feels as if I am made of clay, as if two arms of different minds pull at my body opposite directions. Decisions are always hard to make at times like these. Like tonight.

During the day, I am an normal person. Even at night I keep my sanity...except for the night of the full moon. During those nights, when the moon has risen, I can feel my body morphing, changing! Oh, the agony of this transformation! My limbs feel like they are on fire, ready to explode...I could feel muscles growing as they decrease in length and width, but increase in strength. Hair grow as fast as a hummingbird's wings flutter, and within a minute they would sweep the floor. My nose lengthens into a snout, my teeth sharpen into a million knifes, ready to tear and rip. My head starts to throb, to ache...I fall onto my knees, groaning, clutching my head in pain, and letting out a scream as a bushy tail pokes out of my bottom. My change was done. I have become a dangerous creature of the night.

Tonight, the transformation went through its usual procedures. I felt a bit stiff when I was done, and yawning, I stretched and sniffed the air. My olfactory sense of smell gave me realization that I was not the only creature in the room. I turned around, and spotted a stag, a big black dog- even shaggier than me- and a ugly fat rat perched on top of the dog's shoulder. They seemed familiar in a way, but I could not identify them. I walked over, my padded feet bringing only silence to the room. I looked at the stag, and seeing only loyalty and friendship in its eyes, accepted him as a companion in which I will not harm. The rat brought a stinging smell into my nostrils, but he seemed ok, I guess. It was not harmful in anyway to me, as I saw it; so he too, I will not attempt to eat. The dog was a different matter. It was too related to me...and like in a wolf pack, I saw myself as the leader of my pack. If he did not accept my role as an alpha, then he, unlike the others, will have an interesting fate. I strode toward the fellow canine, showing my teeth. As I approached him, the hairs on my back rose taller, making me look two times as big; I tried with all my might to look bigger, more majestic. The black dog sauntered up to me, and after touching his nose with mine, took his tail between his legs and lowered, as if bowing to me. This, in the wolf world, meant that he had recognized me as the leader of the pack. To this I thanked him, and with a wag of my tail, I accepted him to join me and the others. The Marauders have united under a different identity once again.

The night air was chilly, but I did not feel this underneath my heavy coat of fur. How can I, with my increasing excitement of this whole new world? This was another dimension to explore, to conquer. The joy, the adventure! The wind whipped at my fur as I ran swiftly through the forest, my companions by my side. Tonight was the night I could be free! I could live!

The dog and I loved to waste hours chasing rabbits through the bushes and shrubs. It was wicked fun, seeing those frightened animals scamper in fear, and absolute bliss to taste blood on one's muzzle as the victim is ripped apart by my teeth. The rabbit meat, though delicious, was never enough. The hunt will go on until dawn, when I would transform back into my human form, confused at my night wonderings.

This particular night, I felt another being among us four. There was a faint smell drenched in the usual animal scents, and I intended to find out what it was. Signaling to the others that I had detected something in the air, the others also sniffed. The dog growling, lowered his head, his pearly white teeth reflecting moonlight. The stag narrowed its eyes, and the rat shuddered, beads of sweat visible on its brow.

My vehement howl to the blue corn moon sounded much like a bugle at the start of the war. Following the scent trail, we bounded forward, hate and determination in our eyes. The smell led us to a clearing. We halted and viewed our surroundings. The grass here smelled like sweet perfume...all was silent, except for an occasional hooting of an owl. The serenity was suddenly disturbed as footsteps echoed in the distance.

A silhouette appeared at the edge of the clearing a minute later, something within its grasp. As it moved further into the clearing, the moonlight revealed its identity.

"Snape!" The dog gasped, refraining itself from killing him then and there.

"I knew that smell was familiar! I mean, who else smells like sulfur all the time?" The stag added, its hooves pawing the ground.

"What's he doing?" The rat said, curious.

"Oh my gosh! That's my broomstick he's holding!" The stag now sounded extremely worried.

We watched as Snape started to dig a hole.

"Is he doing...what I think he is doing?" The dog wondered out loud.

"No, Padfoot, he is not burying himself," the stag said.

"Damn!" I bet that if Padfoot had fingers, he would have snapped them.

"Oh no! Look!" The rat squeaked, pointing its long, brittle looking fingers toward the boy in the clearing.

"How dare he...that..." I knew the stag was turning red, despite the darkness.

Snape, finished with digging his hole, was proceeding to bury the broomstick.

"We need to take action!" The dog said, shaking with fury.

I haven't been paying much attention to all this...but now...as I looked on...I realized in my wolfish mind...a human was in my midst. A human, a scrumptious, tender human, unaware that a werewolf is watching! How many times do I get this? I haven't been near a human for years...

It is not me. It is the nature of a werewolf to kill, to eat. Inside, my heart is pleading for these horrible thoughts to stop, but alas, instinct comes before one's conscience in the animal world. I can't help it! I truly can't! No force can defy mother nature.

Without another thought, I ran toward the unsuspecting Snape, ignoring the pleas of my animal friends. Tongue hanging out, I sped through the clearing, sighting my target carefully. Just as I was about to pounce, to seize my victim by the throat and drag him down, he saw and jumped, ever so slightly. That gave him one more second to live as my torso hit the ground, missing him. My werewolf blood boiling and bubbling inside my veins, mad at the miss. I growled, baring my fangs. Like a cat, claws retracted out from my paws, sharp and ready to strike.

The boy, bewildered and shaken, huddled next to a tree, unable to move. His eyes made his face look small as they grew bigger as the clock ticked, his face paralyzed with fear. His skin turned whiter than snow and blacker than night, his hair cemented to his scalp with sweat, which glistened in the light of the moon. I paused when my snout were a few inches from his face.

A beam of sunlight blasted across the sky. Dawn was arriving.

I hated dawn. It was during dawn in which I develop my most vulnerable state. Dawn was the time in which my two souls meet, each overpowering the over. Different thoughts flood my half wolf, half human mind as I struggle to make sense of it all.

As my yellow orbs took in the image of this boy, my wolf mind said one and only one word: FOOD. My human mind told me to leave, to go and spare this human being. My brain began to ache as the two thoughts violently clashed, each determined to overpower the other. Slowly, as the sun began to rise, my human side started to become stronger. Slowly, some of my old memory returned. This boy, I knew him! I am sure I do! I knew that he was not a friend, because the memory of my friends returned...James, Sirius, Lily...Peter...this boy...where have I seen him? Taunting voices started to make my head throb as I tried to think.

"You weak fool...you ugly git...you and your friends are nothing but stupid iditots...Remus, I hate you...hate you..."

The boy's pathetic whimpering brought me back into reality. Black hair...pale face...pointy nose and chin...Se-Sever-Severus. Severus Snape. The most hateful student in Hogwarts with uncountable enemies. And I knew...I was one of them. I remembered everything...how much I despised him, how my friends could not tolerate him, how he spread rumors about me, how...

I growled once more, deeper, with more feeling. Before, it was merely of instinct or hunger. This time it was of hate.

The sun's rays have begun to tickle the morning sky. Orange splashed the sky as the sun started to rise higher. It was only a matter of time before I began to change again, before Snape found out who I really was. I only had a few minutes to kill. I stepped even closer, until I could feel his breathe (which stunk). You want to taste the blood, the wolf mind whispered, titillating my brain like a soft feather.

Letting out a long, hair-raising howl, I put my front paws on Snape's chest. I could feel the pounding of his hideous heart. I lowered my face until my eyes were level with his. I stared hard, trying to reach deep, deep down into his soul. His black eyes dilated even more and his heart started beating faster. Through his bitter coating of his personality, I saw the the desire and willingness to change. Loneliness and desperation were easily observed as his eyes darted up and down, looking for an escape.

To kill or not to kill? That is the question. The sun rose ever higher. Kill? Leave. Kill? Leave. With pity visible in my eyes, I walked back towards the heart of the forest, leaving Snape trembling at the bottom of the tree. The rest of the Marauders followed silently. A one-of-a-lifetime opportunity was thrown away.

I have another chance," the boy said, hugging his knees to his chest. "Another chance."   
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Sorry Snape haters ^_^ I sorta like Snape, so I spared him. Anyway, I don't want Remus to kill anybody. ^^;;;;;;


End file.
